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| 2005
News and Editorial Archive
or, go to the entire Archive IndexHere's where we keep our old news and editorials after it starts taking up too much room on the main news page. Just in case there was something you forgot, or if we did (or didn't) get an editorial prediction or comment right...monthly forecasts/editorials listed first, or click here for old news stories:December
2005 Feature
Editorial: Dire
Predictions 2006!
It’s
that time of
year – as Mercury and Mars go direct and
Venus prepares to back her oars, New Year’s resolutions loom
and
future
forecasters don their soothsayer suits to give you the coming
year’s headlines.
From the Times
to the tabloids you’ll see the pundits
opine on coming
trends in
politics, business, marketing, sports, fashion,
celebrities, weather, computers, stocks, movies, you name it. Most of
them even
have some reasonable shred of evidence upon which to launch an educated
opinion. But
here at
AstroCocktail, on your behalf, we answer to a
higher call. We bring you the coming year direct from our closely-held
contacts within the realms of the generally ineffable, providing a
picture of the future you couldn’t
possibly imagine otherwise. And, as we have noted in the last few
months,
that’s been uncomfortably accurate of late. So here we go
with a
culled
selection of the coming year’s events, as depicted by our
below-referenced
reliable sources [click on the blue links for full stories]. Predictors
this year
arise from four main categories:
individual experts, general prophecies, considered consensus, and
general
freelance lunacy: Individual
outlooks.
Lots
of astrologers
(like
us) have talked about Jupiter and Saturn changes, outer planets, grand
crosses
and the like. You can read that for free lots of places, or you can lay
out
considerable hard cash for the likes of Psychic
Fred
or Brian’s
Prediction
for a more personal, intimate feel, though people
who charge
you that much will probably say anything. But some astrologers will go
on the record for
free and give you more than your money’s worth. Dr.
Turi,
for
instance, utilizes “supernova windows” and eclipses
to
formulate every sort of
dire prediction for next year, thanks mostly to cosmic blasts from
outer
space…and he already predicted everything
awful that
occurred in 2005,
even things that didn’t seem
to happen but actually did,
in secret…India’s
Sri
Kalki Bhagavan is
betting on the mother of all tsunamis, which will cover even the high
Himalayas, leaving India an island – but, on the positive
side,
preventing a
war with Pakistan. Dr.
Barry
Warmkessel,
however,
is still content
with the
first of a series of comets that will strike earth this year, this
set specifically stretching from France to Israel. General
prophecies. Lots
of these have been
around
for a long time, many based on scripture or revelations from aliens or
the
spirit world, but the latest 2006-specific cataclysms include Revelation
13,
which yet again has us all going to hell in a handcart next year, no
escaping
it. Lots of astrology here, revealing Satanic Muslims lurking behind
every bush
and another Clinton in the White House. Disasters all? New
Prophecy
has
actually backed off, however, saying they “now
believe that
the original August 2006
dating
for a Russian face-off with NATO and the US
was premature.” But nevertheless, New York City will get
nuked by
2008, and
every sort of war and rumor of war is laid out at length. Then,
there's an
apologetic Canadian grab-bag
that offers marginal hope, based on previous failures. The
spiritual aliens on Sirius
11
have relatively kinder things to say, with their channeled
mouthpiece Kirael suggesting all kinds of pretty ordinary (by
comparison)
happenings “in this dimension” that mass
consciousness
could prevent, like
storms, floods, and sinister capitalist plots. That all may be moot,
however,
if the Sun
blows
up soon,
which means we had best get on with evacuating planet
Earth. Considered
consensus.
This
is the
year’s
newest, and most interesting forward-looking category. It’s
about
amateurs and
professionals getting together and voting on what’s going to
happen, doomside
democracy in action. For fun, you can join in the predictions at the Prophecies Registry,
or you
can tag
onto About.com’s
more secular version of the same. If we’re all still here,
and
you do well,
they promise not to mock you next year. But if you want to get serious
with the
pros, go and check out the Public
Knowledge Exchange,
where professionals of all sorts are
actually
competitively bidding on disasters, in hope to get a better handle on
the
possibilities, as per the 2003 Pentagon experiment spearheaded by Adm.
John M. Poindexter but
shot down by
Congress. If you like a bit
creepier version, you can bet on influenza with the medical pros from University of
Iowa.
It’s all
play money, but then life’s a play, especially when the
world’s coming to an
end and you’re bidding on the finale… December 2005 Editorial: Holiday Outlook: Fire In The Sky! We had no sooner published our November 1 comments about international astrologers getting the usual disaster predictions right on the mark for once, than another wave of conflagration hit, this time in France. Ironically focused on Britain’s Bonfire Day (Guy Fawkes’ Day), the French lit up right on time – though even hapless FEMA can tell you ‘tis the season for general arson. But of course, this was much more, as looming over it all was the heart of a passing fixed grand cross of Sun, Mars, Saturn, and Neptune. We warned you this would be a grindingly frustrating fall with retro Mars square Saturn pouring salt in each other’s wounds. When the smoldering combination of hot and cold planets got to be just too much for everybody, the fanned embers burst into flames, subsiding only after the aspect began to pass later in the month. Is it over? Not entirely. Mars, Jupiter, and Saturn are holding a tight T-square throughout early December, and the Moon filling the cross on Dec. 5 feels tight. It happens at greater length in early January with Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, and Neptune making a last slow tangle, with the Moon punctuating it right after New Year and again mid-month. More fires? Perhaps, but ‘tis not that season anymore. Usually, when the planets put the pressure on, they don’t cause the specific damage – events below do, and according to whatever is appropriately close to hand. So, it’s winter – look for cold, exposure and disease. Of course, as we mused years ago, since Classical times the world has not seen Neptune pass through Aquarius without a major plague, including the Black Death of 1347-48, which began with both Neptune and Uranus very close to where they are right now. AIDS may already be sufficiently filling that bill this time, but keep your homeopath on call just in case. We’re not doomsayers, but right now the weather is really bad up there, so dress accordingly. And on the positive side, by Valentine’s all this will be dispersed and we’ll be back on track, picking up last summer’s hopes and moving ahead once again. November 2005 Editorial: Listen To Your Astrologer... If you
read our news
and news archives over the last five months, now numbering over a
hundred
articles, you'll notice a lot of dire predictions. Astrologers are
known for
that, and often criticized for alarmist forecasts that don't pan out.
In recent
months, planetary pundits around the world raised warnings about
hurricanes,
floods, earthquakes, and bombings. Ho-hum,
so what else is news? Don't those happen all
the time? Not like recently. It's not been disasters as usual -- it's been really monstrous, record-breaking hurricanes, floods, earthquakes, and bombings. For once, stargazers of all persuasions (Vedic, tropical, sidereal, Chinese) have been on the mark. Christian fundamentalists have been calling it punishment for our sins (mostly sexual), Islamic fundamentalists have been calling it Allah's wrath against our arrogance (mostly political), liberals have blamed it on sins against the Earth and a self-important, incompetent, and warlike Republican administration, conservatives have blamed it on terrorists and liberals (who, oddly, aren’t in power), and those with power and money have taken it all the way to the bank while the rest of us have taken a licking. Maybe
it’s just
bad
celestial weather, with a lot of mostly helpless and clueless people
stuck out
in a hard rain. If so, it’s been a storm the celestial
weather
forecasters have
been predicting accurately, but like with NOAA’s warnings
about
hurricane
Katrina, few were listening and even fewer were prepared. Is anyone
listening
now? It’s not over, by any means, so get your foul weather
gear
in order. Nasty
climate change doesn’t pick favorites, of course, but how you
choose to behave
in a storm is another thing entirely… October 2005 Editorial: Shifting Sands, Veering Winds... This month starts off with a bang, as Mars goes retrograde Oct. 1, followed by an annular solar eclipse Oct.3 (at 10 Libra) and then a lunar eclipse Oct. 17 (24 Aries/Libra). With Mars glowing bright red in the night sky at its closest approach to Earth, it’s a show up above reflected by comparably intense operations down here below. We’re not making bets on anything new that happens this month, and we’re hedging our current ones. Expect surprises and a lot of turnarounds in world affairs and personal ones, as well. Operations already underway get bogged down as Mars approaches the square to Saturn (gets even more so in November). Staying the course while consolidating and redefining resources and options is the preferred, but sometimes difficult, strategy. Bailing out under fire is the worst way to go, though tactical withdrawals to gain better position can be the heart of wisdom. Whether you’re digging out from a hurricane or from the results of bad personal or political policies, it’s going to take some hard work, the willingness to embrace change, and lots of faith in the world’s innate ability to rebalance and move ahead. September 2005 Editorial: War God On Warpath... As Above: Mars And More Mars. The talk of the astro-news lately has been much about Mars. Whether it’s the hoax about it’s close approach making it bigger than the Moon or dire predictions of bombings, fires, insurrections, and natural disasters, it seems the old warrior god bodes mostly ill. That may be because by going retrograde he’s in and out of square with reprobate Saturn for the next several months, which gets everybody’s energies frustrated or turned towards the dark side. Mix that with eclipse season Oct. 3-17 and you’ve got a recipe for all variety of unpredictable and unexpected blindsiding that should keep the fall popping for all. Top off your tank before you start, because it may be on empty sooner than you think, and with less net mileage under your wheels -- though not for lack of revving your engine. So Below: Eyes On The Sky. Look up with care -- the weather has been changing, very violent, wet, and windy, from Far East floods to Gulf Coast catastrophe. According to some, the planets have been to blame. If the 2003 Mars-Uranus conjunction foreshadowed the recent Asian tsunami, the 2005 conjunction might have Katrina laid on its doorstep. But that almost two-year cycle has only just begun, so this may just be the first taste -- expect more of the same, perhaps a bit further east, closer to where the last conjunction’s MC line lies (see map and earlier editorial in our archives). And, the longer after the conjunction, the bigger the effect. The tsunami was only a few months from the end of the 2003-05 Mars-Uranus conjunction cycle, but the most notable example is Hiroshima/Nagasaki, which occurred only a week from the end of the 1943-45 cycle, whose MC line lay directly over Japan. With Mars continuing its crippling contra-dance with Saturn, the next few months may see increasing challenges to patience and fortitude. Our hearts go out to those on the Gulf Coast who must bear so much of it right now... August 2005 Editorial: Above:
Dog Days In The
Sky. This
August opens with Mercury retrograde
slowing things down (or at least making you pick up those missed
stitches),
Saturn in a new sign (Leo), and Mars racing into a swamp in Taurus. A
swamp,
you say --- bogged down, like in Vietnam and Iraq? Not quite that
protracted,
but the pattern is similar. Mars has just moved into Taurus with a
great,
supporting trine from Venus.
Easy,
sexy, instant gratification with immediately tangible results. But then
Mars
(it was square Saturn all along) slows down and goes retro in October,
where it
stays out the year in the sign of its dramatic and successful entrance,
backing, filling, and equivocating before finally making its escape
just after
St. Valentine’s Day (ironic, considering the Venus entry).
You
may love the
leap you make now, but you’ll love leaving it behind even
more
come February,
when Mars finally gets going again into Gemini. Oct. 2, Dec. 10, and
Ground Hog
Day are pivot points. So, hot deals you hop for this month may require
extrication in the fall. Watch where you’ve
stepped… July 2005 Editorial: In The Sky: The big news up there is Saturn on July 16th ending its 2 ½ year trek through Cancer and moving into Leo for the next 2 ½ years. Depending where those signs fall in your chart, that means relief (Cancer) or a time of testing (Leo). That same Saturn sign change happened most recently in 1976, 1947 (with Pluto), and 1917 (with Neptune), if you can remember that far back. If you were born then, it’s your Saturn return, quite a big deal. So what’s happened to you in the intervening Saturn cycles of 29 ½ years? Later in the month Mercury does its latest three-week retrograde stint also in Leo, starting July 23rd, which slows forward progress and requires reworking and editing your efforts. Taken altogether, the month is the beginning of a major shuffle in the lives of us earthlings below. On The Earth: Down here, astrology and astrologers seem to be cashing in more than ever. In some places, like astrologer-mad India, it’s been business as usual, only more so. 100,000 couples getting married on a single auspicious day at their various astrologers’ advice is surely a record. In other places, from the Far East to Western Europe, astrological advice is sweeping the mobile phone market. Now not only can a cell phone tell you where you are, it can tell you where you’re at. Analyzing the stars is becoming a fave from sports to high finance to weather forecasting, so whether it’s winning the football pool, a killing in the stock market, or just shelter from the storm you’re looking for, maybe you’d better have a consulting astrologer on hand. Everybody’s doing it. And you’ll see it all here first, so stay tuned to this page… June 2005 Editorial: Dire
Straits, Hold The
Luau It
is a
common astrological tenet that the places where the exact Mars/Uranus
conjunction happens at the Midheaven (overhead) or rises (on the
eastern
horizon) are where destruction
makes the news the most (for the
former)
or violence happens on the
ground most regularly (for the
latter) during
the coming two years. We got the last one right on the mark when we
advised
against vacationing in Indonesia or encouraging your government to send
your
kids to Iraq. They were not to be happy places. You can still see that
before-the-fact article here.  Older News Articles, newest first, oldest at bottom (some links may have expired...): Fortunetelling In Frisco (San Francisco Chronicle) – It’s a psychic smorgasbord by the Bay, stirred by the wonder and angst about what might come… Ho-Hum Predictions 2006 (AFP, Paris) – From the Oscars and sports to the stock market, these usual suspects pale beside 2005’s actual realities… Psychics Star On New Year’s Eve (IOL, South Africa) – After last year’s predictions fared so well, this year everyone is going to be tuned in… Italians Addicted To Magic (AGI, Italy) – Magic and astrology’s popularity has the Prime Minister’s office concerned…25,000 persons/day, 5 billion Euros/year… Astrologer Predicting Higher Car Sales in ’06 (Detroit News) – He’s also predicting floods and volcanic eruptions…they’re hard on your car, so you’ll need a new one… 17 Planets? (Pioneer Press) – New planets are becoming a dime a dozen. With names like Xena, Buffy, and Santa Claus, what does it all mean? Merry Christmas To All Christians (MehrNews, Tehran) – An historical wrap on the Star of Bethlehem from the Persian home of the Magi…unless, of course, they were Indian… Another Holy Star Story (IC Cheshire, UK) – In latest claim, British astronomer thinks it was Venus and Jupiter in 2 BC, but this one may have holes in it, as Herod had already been dead for two years… Burma To Fall By April (Los Angeles Times) – the same astrologers who advised the sudden move of the capital now say that won’t put off the inevitable… A Challenging Year Ahead (BeliefNet) – American astrologers chime in with a slightly rosier picture of tomorrow's troubled skies… Astrology In The Classroom (College News) – Unlike Intelligent Design, it’s being taught as an integral part of history and culture, not revealed science… Astrology Career A Reality (Economic Times) – Forget accounting and all those other drab possibilities, the sky is the limit, these days… Fake “Dr. Foot” Was No Doctor (Palm Beach Post) – He said he was really an astrologer! Oyy, Joel, what were you thinking??!!… Americans Believe In It (Harris Interactive) – “It” being astrology, the devil, evolution, reincarnation, and God knows what else, depending on your politics… The Reading That Relaxes (Asbury Park Press, AP) – Spas are finding that a tarot pack and a mudpack work hand in hand… Science Predicts (Chicago Tribune) – Science’s predictions are less dire, but on the whole less interesting, perhaps because many of the questions being explored aren’t really as fundamental as they might be… Another Mystery Planetoid Lurks Nearby (New Scientist) – Named “Buffy,” she's tilted at 47 degrees from the rest of us. Somehow, these recent add-ons to the solar system just don’t seem to have the gravitas planets used to… Astrologer Threesome Linked To Murder (The Citizen) – It’s a timely Christmas story – no, it’s the Christmas story. They should have kept that manger visit under wraps… Deck The Halls (OhmyNews International) – Take an ordinary deck, any deck. Then make up a good story to go with it. A great take. By the same writer, try your hand at tea leaves. Center Fielder Nixed By Stars (Newsday) – Cub fans don’t want to hear that newly-acquired center fielder Juan Pierre may have some cosmic obstacles… Horocopes Spell Disaster? (Hartford Advocate) – Oh really, Alistair, you haven’t seen the beginning of it… Choosing Baby’s Horoscope Means Big Bucks (MedIndia) – You want a celestial winner in the crib? It costs “a lot of money…” Moon Storms (NASA) – The moving border between dark and light on the Moon is actually a storm front, where a rage of heat meets the frigid black and churns the landscape all around… An Auspicious C-Section (NewKerala) – On-time birthtime a new trend. Choosing birth operation specifics is “turning fruitful for both astrologers and gynaecologists.” The Year Of The Breakup (Times Of India) – So many prominent couples have split up this year, astrologers are blaming it on the stars. Nick and Jessica, take note… The Rush To Marry (Sify) – Here’s the astrological explanation: it’s because “Jupiter and Venus are not too near the sun.” Remember that, before you tie the knot, or fight the traffic… ‘Tis The Season, To Get Married (WebIndia) – It’s happening again, after a long drought, a run on nuptials as this holiday season also yields particularly starry marital prospects…15,000 ceremonies on one day alone, the roads are blocked… Fortunetelling Rampant In Communist Refuge (Chosun.com) – Starving poor buy consultations instead of rice, but government prefers it to religion… Blame It On The Moon (Anchorage Daily News) – All kinds of stuff about the Moon, from fact to fancy, scientific theory to real estate… Astrologers Lobby, Late-Born Problems (Pittsburgh Live, AP) – A couple of astro-curiosities turn up in this Associated Press catchall… Burma Flight: An Astrologer’s Dark Vision (N.Y. Times News Service) – The timed chart for the sudden, massive exodus reveals a fixed, cadent grand cross (Sun in 12th) with the degree of the national Saturn at the MC. An astrologer actually chose this dark and painful chart… Burma Move Was Astrological (Boxun News) – Alarmed Taiwanese report on nation’s overnight move of capital, lock, stock, and barrel…all on strongman's personal astrologer’s advice… Soothsayer Orders New Capital (Times Online, U.K.) – Brutal Burmese dictator deserts Rangoon overnight, moves government to a new bastion according to the stars… French Soccer Team Wins By Stars (BBC Sports) – Coach Raymond Domenech regularly keeps an eye on the sky, distrusts Scorpios, avoids Leos… NASA Beats Astrologer In Moscow Court (iol.co, South Africa) – It was the very definition of a frivolous suit, and a disgrace for astrology, but she’ll appeal it, anyway… A Waterlogged World By 2012 (Times Of Oman) – The coming of WaterWorld is not far away, according to forecaster who predicted hurricanes Katrina and Rita… Grave-robbers Cursed For Three Generations (New Kerala) – Hong Kong extortionists will pay a celestial price says Chinese astrologer…The Astrologer Who Wouldn't Die (People’s Democracy) – The Indian Communist Party says it was all a capitalist media dodge…no argument here… Race Drivers Matched By The Stars (Rally Racing Live) – Driver team compatibility is analyzed by a pro astrologer and behavioral specialist to find winning combos… Champ Batter Seeks Famed Astrologer’s Help (Daily Times) – Actually it’s his mom hiring the consultant, hoping for a comeback for her cricket star son… Planets Say Bush Scandal Beginning Of End (Chronogram) – Astrologer/journalist Eric Francis tugs at the unraveling skein atop America’s political plutocracy… Pluto Has Three Moons (NASA) – The Hubble Telescope spots two more companions to the dark planet... Astrology Is Scientific Theory, Courtroom Told (New Scientist) – It may be, at least when compared with the likes of Intelligent Design... Astrologer Forecasts His Own Death (DNA India) – Fortunately for him, he got it wrong… Old Takers, Odd Questions (ExpressIndia) – Astrology’s not just for the young folks anymore, the old fools seem to be taking to it as well… Fortunetelling Goes High-Tech (Taipei Times) – More about the variety of oracles now on the cell phone, subverting temple attendance… Youth Severs Hand On Astrologer's Advice (WebIndia) – Well, he said he was an astrologer, anyway…but you can never be too careful… Eclipse Will Haunt The World Until December (Asian Age) – Eclipses are even dicier when mixed with Jupiter and a sign change (if you use Vedic, not Western zodiac, of course)…and then there’s Mars at a critical degree… World Cup Outlook Improves For India (India Times) – Why should astrologers dabble in disasters when there’s sports to speculate upon?… Astrologer Foresaw Quake (Sunday Tribune, South Africa) – And lots of other things, too, including the end of the world. But that’s still down the road apiece, with a lot of suffering to get through first…plus, a laundry list of disasters… Lunar Eclipse Could Spell More Disaster (The Peninsula, Qatar) – Astrologer say he told you about the quake and there’s more trouble to come… Clouds Predict Earthquakes (Times Of India) – You didn’t have to look all the way to the stars, a peek at the clouds would have sufficed. It’s a whole ‘nother system… The Pagan Moon God The Terroists [Sic] Follow (Dafka.org) – “Was Allah The Moon God of Ancient Arab Pagan?” this multi-ethnic pro-Israel group asks. Indeed, we might ask…our offbeat astro-pick for Rosh Hashana… Eating During Eclipses Poses No Harm, Say Scientists (New Kerela) – Reassuring…and to think, we never thought to ask… New 10th Planet Xena Has A Moon (Reuters) – It’s named Gabrielle, after the TV princess’s sidekick. Airport Opened By The Stars (Business Day) – Bangkok’s new airport was opened at exactly 9:17 AM, Sep. 29, picked by Thai astrology. It’s got a grand fixed cross exactly on the angles (including the Vertex conj. the MC!)…would you land there?… Moonlighting As An Astrologer (ExpressIndia) – Engineer donates his astrology profits to underprivileged kids in India…how many of us can take credit for that?… Business Bottoms As Stars Frown (NewKerela) – Trade tanks in Jaipur as the “two weeks of the dead” inch by… Bollywood Defies The Dead (Glamsham.com) – Film producers in hot pursuit of profits, despite two week inasuspicious period…good business or bad karma?… An Astrology Fetish (Cybernoon) – A new compulsion for the books – you can do it by the stars, just don’t do it in town…it’s a Bollywood scandal!… Man Sues For Bad Horoscope (Aversion.com) – Well, of course he lost, the arrogant Aries. So probably will the Russian astrologer suing NASA, though she’ll cash in on it despite, no doubt... Parrot Astrology In Decline (NewsTodayNet) – An ancient divinatory art, involving astrology and a parrot, has fallen on hard times…including a sad example, and a delightful animated version… Jordan Panics Over Earthquake Prediction (WebIndia, UPI) – Schoolchildren are holding evacuation drills after astrologer foresees monster quake… Doctor
Dire Depicts Doom (Times
of Oman)
– Want the details on
your imminent death? Consult this guy – he touts a
traumatizing
track record.
What astrologers generally don’t do, or won’t admit
to…probably
shouldn’t…he does politics, too… Sun Has Binary Partner, May Effect Earth (PhysOrg.com) – Plato’s Great Year cycle, precession of the equinoxes, may have another explanation…beyond the Age Of Aquarius and lots more archaeoastronomy from the Binary Institute… Two More Oddball “Planets” Described (San Francisco Chronicle) – The folks at Caltech, who brought you Xena, now reveal Santa and Easterbunny. They’re all Pluto-sized or even bigger. Plus, more with links on the latest here (Spaceref) Saturn Afflicts Oakland A’s (OaklandClubhouse.com) – And now a detailed view of the West Coast team from Andrea Mallis …fixed signs again take the hit. Get used to it. Asteroid Ceres Is “Mini-Planet” (SpaceflightNow) – Space telescope reveals the mama of all asteroids is more like us than we thought. India Gets Multiple Prognoses (Midday) – Mumbai has a choice of dire predictions from a card reader, a numerologist, and an astrologer. No Time For Nuptials, Say Stars (TimesOfIndia) – After this year’s earlier marriage record of 100,000 couples in a single day, now there’s a maddening dry spell. Sports Astrologer Looks At The Mets (MostValuableNetwork.com) – The Mets pitching staff is heavy with Scorpio, afflicted by Saturn, starting of course with Pedro Martinez… Planets
Predict “Polar Coaster” Winter (MSNBC,
AP)
– Farmers’ Almanac forecasts
radical temperature fluctuations and a brutally cold winter in the
Northeast,
so button up your overcoat… The Times Considers The New “Tenth Planet” (N.Y. Times, Taipei Times) – The consensus among astrologers, as reported in this fashion section think piece, is wait and see, as the discussion continues… Asteroid Dust Cools Climate (ABC Australia) – When space visitors destruct, down goes the thermometer, according to Defense Department notes on recent meteor strike. And you can wipe it off your windowsill… The Spinning Sky Below (E-Commerce Times, AP, Science) – Like the planets above, the earth’s core is rotating beneath your feet – faster than the ground you’re standing on. We just noticed it… When Galaxies Collide (Universe Today) – In the constellation Pisces, two galaxies are colliding – or, in fact, already have. We’re next, a head-on with Andromeda… “This is quite scary,” says UK astronomer. Well, not that scary… Pick Winning Stocks With Compatibility Horoscope (Pressbox, U.K.) – If your chart fits with the company you’re investing in, you could be a winner…a venerable technique, Vedic style… Pundits Ponder Planet’s Portents (Newind Press) – Astrologers palaver over pregnant possibilities of new addition to the solar system. What is its meaning in the horoscope? A planetary perplex pending perspicuity… Murietta, CA To Fingerprint Astrologers (AP — SanLuisObispo Tribune) – You’ll have to be over 18 to get your horoscope, and your astrologer will be in the lineup… “A Frog Goes To An Astrologer, and…” (Cybernoon) – At the end of a thoughtful column about age and independence, the best astrology joke, ever… Business Booming For New Age Astrologers (NDTV) – Prices are rising for astrologers in India, where the US outsources its major tech business. Are we behind the curve, missing something?… Your Corporate Zodiac Sign (Economic Times) – This is “Popstrology” for suits and geeks, both…humorous imitation is the greatest form of flattery. If you ever doubted that astrology is fundamental to popular culture, doubt no more… Crystal Ball Burns Down Flat (London Times) – Amateur psychic’s device focused the sun’s rays and, well, you can guess the rest… What, Really, Is A Planet? (San Francisco Chronicle) – With three new “planets” discovered in the last month, just what are we looking at? Or, in another phrase, What’s In A Name? (TechCentralStation) Astrologers, Scientists Fight Over Deluge (Sify.com) – Was it retro Mercury, Saturn, and the Sun that conspired to create “Torrential Tuesday’s” 37 inches of rain? Fortunetelling Laws Get The Boot (St. Petersburg Times) – Outdated ordinances against everything from astrology to traveling medicine shows may soon become history in Tampa/St. Pete.Black Dog Will Ward Off Saturn’s Ills (WebIndia) – Saturn in Leo getting you down already? Get a black dog, that’ll fix it. Prices for black labs, other dark dogs, skyrocket…no, we’re not kidding… Nighttime Birth Risk Higher (Mercury News) – Is your natal Sun below the horizon? You’re lucky you made it past the first month… Redneck Astrology Signs (Nascar.com) – Got Okrah rising, Possum in the sixth house ? Aw, shucks, you must be a Moon Pie… New Planet Discovered (NASA) -- The object "...is guaranteed bigger than Pluto," said Michael E. Brown, a professor of planetary astronomy at Caltech (see technical details here). But…but…we’ll keep you covered (N.Y. Times) as the details of this too-frequent kind of announcement evolves… Study: Taurus Ranks First Among Landlords (Easier Property News, U.K.) – Among 20,000 buy-to-rent property investors, Taurus trumps the lot. Cancer takes last… Galaxy Arms Trigger Ice Ages (San Francisco Chronicle) – This cosmic chestnut is being brought back to life by more recent evidence, scientific speculation. Icy cosmic dust. brrrrr... Stock
Market Outlook: Stars Say Don’t Buy (Forbes)
– Arch
Crawford’s bearish take
bears listening…it’s been spot on so far this
year. As
usual, his wary eye is
on Mars… NASA A No-Show In Astrology Suit (Russian News and Information Agency) – The case is postponed, again, due to “absence of representation from NASA." It’s silly enough, do we have to make it sillier? Isn’t that how you actually lose…? “Popstrology” (Tacoma, WA News-Tribune) – Pop stars/songs formed your character at an early age, just like...astrology? Oh, why not? It’s almost as much fun as your birthday headlines… Electional Babies (Hindustan Times) – Doctors are being induced to induce births to get the best natal horoscope. Plant An Astro-Tree, Earn Health And Prosperity (newKerala)– In Kerala, a sacred forest thrives among the Mansions of the Moon. Astrologer Fleeced By Faker (NewInd Press -- requires registration) – He should have checked his horoscope first. Another, rather variant version here (Newstodaynet). India is loving this one… Astrology Institutes Flourish In “Star-Struck” City (ExpressIndia) – Some courses take only a month! There oughtta be a law… Cell Phones Predict Disaster (NewindPress -- requires registration) – Hundreds totally bummed out by dire cellphone astrology warnings, at 9 rupees a pop. Mobile Pundits' Planetary Pull (ExpressIndia) – Comfort is just a phone call away for a new generation, worry psychiatrists. Stars Guide Race Horse’s Career (The Observer, U.K.)– Phoenix Reach has risen like a phoenix and is reaching for the stars… I Predicted London Blasts (rediff.com) – Delhi astrologer says he foresaw U.K. terrorist attacks, along with everywhere else, of course…next up, U.S. invades Iran…now that’s an astro-test, so stay tuned… Paris Next? (Ynet News) – Tunisian astrologer also predicted it, and lots more. Coming, the Eiffel Tower. Predicts aging, critically ill king will die this year…could we have an actual surprise, please?…maybe so, as he says Bush will be assassinated in 2005 (Al-Bawaba, Jordan) Astrologer Hangs In Through Ups and Downs (Cybernoon.com) – Rags to riches stargazer is philosophical about rise to fame, loyalty to clients. Of Planets, Health and Tibetan Medicine (Phayul.com) – “Astro-medicine” is flourishing in Tibet at campus staffed by 250 for six-year course of study. Mars Attack! (Times Of India) – As the Red Planet closes in this August, this august New Delhi newspaper investigates the meaning of it all… Beware The Mars Hoax! (NASA) – The government maintains, despite the rumors, that the coming close encounter with Mars will not be quite THAT close… My stars! What has NASA done? (Cleveland Plain Dealer) – The Dealer sends up astrology in one breath, then when you click to the second page, it asks for your birth data! Talk about tongue in cheek… Will Monsoon Be On Time? (India Express News Service) Ask an agricultural professor, of astrology. See more on rain below... Rain Scientists Decipher Planetary Messages (Times of India) It’s what’s above the clouds that sets the clouds in motion. British astrological weather sage Carolyn Egan agrees (BeliefNet) Astrologer’s Horse Headed For Winner’s Circle (U.K Telegraph) -- Mystic Meg’s mare Astrocharm is charmed right from the starting gate… Russian
Astrologer Sues NASA Over Comet
Impact (BBC)
– Marina Bai follows
through on her threat (see May story below). Her predictive
tools, she claims, have been permanently damaged... Arch Crawford On Financial Astrology (Yahoo Financial) One of the original modern financial astrologers, an old friend, talks about how he got there... Astrologer Opens Psychic Museum With Uri Geller (Yorkshire Post, U.K.) You haven't really arrived until you're in a museum... Sky Lore To Save Trees (Business Standard) The Sun, Moon, stars, and Zodiac are put to work in the interest of ecology. Mystery Treasure Box Linked To Stars (Russian Ren TV) – Russian gold, silver, and jeweled rarities have turned up that were created by 16th century Kaliningrad astrologers and magicians. Ancient Board Game Predicted Future (Korea Times) The popular game of Bakuk was used as tool for heavenly observations, to predict floods. 100,000 Couples Wed By Stars (WebIndia123) – All in one auspicious day, at their astrologers’ advice…worth waiting for… The Future of Mobile Internet on the Cards (Sourcewire.com) – After sweeping the East, cell phone fortunes creep closer, soon to be in the U.K…Indian “OnStar” Mobile Service (Business Standard) – 120 online astrologers await your emergency call for help… Saddam
Consulted Astrologers, Who Remain Mum
(Times Of India)
Lottery
Winner Saw It In The Cards (London
Mirror)
Searching Solutions in Stars, Directions, Designs (ExpressIndia) A handful of rice and sugar can do as much as a horoscope, or can it? Liverpool Footballers Are Star-Crossed (TimesOnLine, UK) – It’s an astrological uphill battle in Istanbul for champion soccer team. Unless, of course, it’s the other way round, according to a host of oracles. Breaking news: Liverpool won... Astrology In Her Future (Cybernoon) – Major in Tarot, do post-grad in astrology… Astrologer To Sue NASA Over Comet Plans (ABC News) Only in Russia… Sun-Sign Or Blood-Sign? (NBC) To many Koreans, the key to their personality lies not in their stars but in their blood type. They use it for dating. Qualified
Astrologers Decry Charlatans (WebIndia123)
In
The Light Of The Moon (News.com.au) Tabloid Picks Up Lady Di’s Astrologer (MSNBC) -- Right on eclipse time, Lady Di comes back again, this time in the form of her astrologer… |
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| Copyright © John Townley 2005-06. All rights reserved. | ||
